On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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