no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
