He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
