I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
