after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
