I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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