I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
