What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I love you.
Bad choice
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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