I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
