So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Ladies don't puke and tell
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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