on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
