I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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