we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
