i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
