who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wish you could order shots online.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
