What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
why do cheetos always look like penises
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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