after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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