Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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