I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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