Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
