her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize
