I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
false alarm, still single
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
