just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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