glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize