My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
