FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
