he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
NoShamevember. You game?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
