New invention idea: vibrating tampons
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
