Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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