Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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