i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
