PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
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