They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
