He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
