Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
