he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
