I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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