That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
