a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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