so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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