After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
