I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She announced her abortion via fbk
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
