Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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