so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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