if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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