i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
