I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize