If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize