I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
