I just made out with a guy for $7.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
