Tell her she can't have a vagina
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
