I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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