Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
