There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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