my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
All the doctor said was why
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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