you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize