You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just puked most of my soul out..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
