i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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