he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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