i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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