I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
