You work out of a Hotel?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
